


The Last Time

by aliveforjongin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, No Strings Attached, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29185251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliveforjongin/pseuds/aliveforjongin
Summary: Life is already complicated as is. And a relationship is not what you are looking for. You did not want to commit to another thing. No strings attached! That was your rule. But everything changes when you meet him and you find yourself breaking your own promise.
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader
Comments: 52
Kudos: 175





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am writing this half to improve my writing skills and half because I want to fulfill my own thoughts haha. But I am open to any and all forms of critiquing and advice please! I hope you enjoy :).

****

****

Scrolling tinder while in a bar; can it get more college than this? The thought quickly left your mind as you glanced over to your friend group. Eren was on what seemed to be his fourth or fifth shot, judging by the flush of his cheeks and the increase in his confidence. Mikasa sat beside him, as usual, monitoring the boy because everyone knows how he can get. Armin sat the opposite side of Mikasa. His face painted with worry, you knew he hadn’t drown a single drink. He was the designated driver after all. Turning away from them you expected your eyes to settle on Ymir and Annie soon enough but to your surprise they weren’t at the bar or on the dance floor.

“I’m gonna go look for the girls.” You practically shouted from your seat to the only coherent person in the building.   
  


“Please do. It’s getting late, we should leave soon.” The anxious blond replied.   
  


You glanced at your phone, it was barely midnight. Pushing your way through drunk swaying bodies and a few scattered bottles you found the bathroom. It reeked of marijuana, mint, pineapples, and whatever else people put in those pens. Squinting through a cloud of smoke, you were finally able to make out your older friends faces. Of course they were here. Ymir was never one for alcohol and Annie hated crowds. Thinking back to Armin, Mikasa, and Eren, you wondered how such contrasting personalities like you all had been friends for almost two years. 

With your hand reaching out to playfully punch the freckled face brunette’s surprisingly strong arm, you said,

“Where’s my invite?”

”Oh please you know you don’t smoke, no matter how many times I try to get you to.” She relayed through a drag from her pen.

“But seriously Y/N” Annie added taking the pen from Ymir’s hand. “You have to get high like at least once, you’ve truly never lived until you do!” 

You knew half of that was the weed talking because Annie wasn’t really one to care whether you did or not. 

“Feels like I’m getting high just being in this cramped bathroom with you guys.” 

“Contact high is actually a thing.” Ymir coughed with her fingers covering her face, exhaling. 

Swiping smoke from your aura you informed the girls “Armin’s cutting our fun short, he’s worried about Eren and neither him or Mikasa have been able to loosen up” 

Facing the mirror to adjust her blonde ponytail, Annie exclaimed, “Well so much for our ‘ _let it all out tonight’_ extravaganza.”

“I know I’m sorry guys.” You sighed, back pressing up against the bathroom sink.

”Well there’s always next weekend!” Said Ymir with a grin across her face. 

Making your way out the bathroom and back towards the booming music and sweaty bodies, you replied, “That’s easy for you to say, you’re not a freshman taking 18 credit hours.” 

The girl just made a face at you and you rolled your eyes, a smile forming across your glistened cheeks.You scanned the club once more, hoping if you were able to at least score some then the night wouldn’t have been a total bust but you knew that was doubtful. Shaking the thought from your head, you made your way back to the bar stools where the rest of your friend group sat. Letting out a relived sigh Armin ran to you guys, urging you to pick up the pace.

“Eren nearly got into it with some jock.”

”Oh god, where is he now?” 

“In the car with Mikasa. The guy is over there. Luckily he was pretty understanding so it didn’t go farther than some pushing.”   
  


The man Armin had pointed to was a sight for sore eyes. Sitting well above six feet, he sported a muscular build as well. Could’ve easily done Eren some damage. He had a bit of blonde stubble but made it work. He looked a little older than you, possibly a junior. As you made your to gaze his honey gold eyes, they caught yours in action. Nearly tripping over a bit you decided to shoot him a smile instead. Would it be wrong to fuck the guy your friend almost fought? Of course it would. But none of them would ever know. You fought with your conscience a bit longer only to hear footsteps approaching you.   
  


“Those your buds?” The handsome blonde asked pointing to your friends who were moving without you. 

  
“Yeah” you laughed. “Sorry for the trouble the brunette haired one can’t hold his alcohol.”

Adjusting his black leather jacket that he wore over an olive green t-shirt, he replied, “Don’t stress it, the name’s Reiner by the way.”

”Reiner, pretty name.” You said biting your bottom lip while eyeing him up and down. “I’m Y/N.” You positioned your hand lower than one would when offering a handshake. You wanted him to see the skin your tight dress displayed.   
  


He took your hand. Warm, calloused, and firm. Before your mind could even create a scenario Ymir stomped back into the club shouting your name.   
  


“Oh shoot, my friends are waiting on me, they’re my ride.”   
  


“Ah it’s alright , I have faith that we’ll meet again.” He said, raising your hand to his soft pink lips where he laid a kiss.   
  


God. Why did Eren have to be such a lightweight? You followed Ymir’s echoing voice and you both quickly made your way back to the car. The cold was ice daggers against your exposed skin. Just as you were ready to climb into the heated car and make your way to the passenger seat, a girls voice grabbed your attention.   
  


“Do you guys think you can..* _hiccup*.._ give me a ride?”   
  


You were barely able to make out what she was saying through her slurred words. You looked to the back of the car. Four adults already squished and one of them drunk. There certainly wasn’t space for another. You turned to your friends and said something.   
  


“Are you sure?” Ymir let out.   
  


“Yeah I think we can make it fit.” Armin added.   
  


You knew you would be lessening his load. He was already nervous about riding dirty with one drunk person. Two and you guys were certain to get pulled over.   
  


“It’s fine guys I’ll make sure she gets into an Uber safely and then get one myself. I’ll be at the dorms in about an hour.”   
  


With that you waved your friends goodbye, closed the passenger door, and watched the black sedan drive away from the club and into the well lit roads of downtown.   
  


Looking back to the drunk girl with a missing eyelash, you asked, “What’s your address? I’ll get you an Uber. There was no space in their car unfortunately.”   
  


“You’re a life saver!” She said with widened eyes. 

You typed in the address of a Spades Suites. Sounded fancy. It was about fifteen minutes from the club.   
  


“The Uber will be here in five.”

”Hm.”

You waited there with the girl in complete silence. It’s not her fault. She looked as if she was about to pass out. Before you could offer her your jacket, you heard the crunch of tires pulling up amidst the rubble of road. Gray Nissan. It was the one. You helped her climb into her seat and followed closely behind. The ride was even quieter than outside the bar. You tried your best to keep the girl awake. You still needed to help her inside her building and what not. Eventually, the driver made it to Spade Suites. And just as you had predicted it was fancy. Tens of stories high. Garages with every high end car imaginable. Architecture you have never seen. All painted a shining gold which the city lights danced off of. It was gorgeous.   
  


“We’re here.” You helped the girl out the car as she just nodded to your statement.   
  


“What’s your code?” You asked with ice cold fingers hovering the keypad.   
  


“4605?” 

“That’s not right..”

“4506?”   
  
Concern growing in your voice you replied, “That’s not right either.”   
  


“I’ll use my code.” A voice from behind you creeped, growing closer with each word.   
  


The man punched in four numbers with ease and the door buzzed open. The girl rushed in, forgetting you existed. You didn’t blame her. You knew all she wanted to do was warm up and puke.   
  


“Thank you.” You breathed, head down, not sure if you should face the unfamiliar man.  
  


“No problem.” He replied. “I told you we’d meet again.”


	2. And So We Meet Again

You finally looked up, recognizing the voice. How could you forget. It was assertive but soft. Firm but gentle. God, you could listen to him talk for hours. Your e/c eyes locked with his sun blazed ones for a second time that night. You were never one to believe in fate and all that but wow this was one hell of a coincidence. Before you could reply, he spoke aloud. 

“Step into the building, you must be freezing.”

“Yeah.” You replied looking down at the dress that rode above your knees that you paired with a black blazer. 

You'd come to your senses about just how weird this was. You were with a guy who you had just met a little over an hour ago. And oh yeah, can’t forget he got into an altercation with your friend. But there you were, following his lead. You trusted him. Totally out of character. This isn’t like you. You were always careful. Cautious. But you didn’t know if it was his voice, his mannerisms, his fucking sexy face, wanting an escape from the cold, or the disappointing night you had. But you were following him. Following a complete stranger into his apartment complex.

“Thanks, I’ll just wait here for my Uber.” 

“In the hall? They’ll kick you out if you don’t live in one of the apartments. You can wait in mine if you’d like. Wouldn’t want you freezing your ass off.” 

“Well aren’t you the perfect gentleman.”

You picked up your flirtatious tone from the first meeting. If there’s one thing you were good at it was flirting. You were a natural. You don’t usually get nervous around guys, it’s the other way around. But you felt a knot in your stomach form when you held eye contact with Reiner. Leading the way, he pressed the button to a huge stainless steel elevator. You made your way inside. Carpeted with huge mirrors and even heat. How much would a place here cost? 

Reading your mind, Reiner announced, “I know what you’re thinking. How does a 21 year old college student afford a place like this?” He proceeded to press the button marked six. “The answer is roommates with rich parents.”

“Ah, and here I thought you were the rich pretty boy.” You teased. 

“Pretty boy? I’ve never been called that before.” He laughed. 

The elevator dinged and the doors opened soon after. Making his way down the hall with you in tow, he stopped at the last apartment door to the left. Apartment number 297. You made a mental note of that for some reason. He jingled the keys into the lock until they no longer put up a fight.

“Welcome.” He said with an arm extended, motioning you to walk in first. 

As the door sprung open the smell of pinewood and oak infiltrated your nose. This was by far the cleanest and best smelling college boy suite you had been in. No beer cans and solo cups littered the floor. There was a coat rack to your left and a shoe rack to your right. You continue scanning the apartment and even saw candles lit atop a bookshelf. You approached to read the label. Oak and pinewood. 

Breaking the ice, Reiner decided to say a few words. “I didn’t leave that on. My roommate lit it and I told him it was okay to leave it running since he just left about ten minutes ago.” 

You nodded. He motioned for your thin black blazer that was now no longer needed in his floor heated apartment. You gave it to him, feeling naked in just a long-sleeved short purple dress. He hung it on the coat rack and made his way to the extravagant white couch. You followed him not sure of what else to do. As you sat you noticed throw pillows perfectly propped alongside a couch blanket that matched the gray carpet. This was definitely the home of rich kids with enough money for an interior designer. Your average frat guys did not have anything of the sort. You both sat in silence for a moment. Just warming up and enjoying each other’s presence. 

Deciding it was your turn to speak, you asked him a question. “So how many roommates do you have?” 

“Two other guys, we’ve known each other since we were ten.”

“Wow, you must be really close.” You said, tucking a piece of your h/c hair behind your ears. 

“Yeah, they mean the world to me, truly.” He replied, not wanting to give away too much. 

The room fell silent once again. You didn’t know how to reply to that but were glad to have some gained more information about Reiner from his statement. You deduced he was the caring type. Probably the big brother figure that everyone relies on. You smiled to yourself. Silence fell upon the room once more and Reiner knew it was his cue to say something. 

“Would you like an apartment tour?”

“Sure.” You said rising to your now bare feet. You had discarded your heels ages ago. 

He took your hand in his once again. The warmth you felt earlier still there. He led you out of the living room and through the hall. First was the bathroom. Huge with a clawfoot tub and stand up shower that had at least five different heads. You looked in the mirror fixing your hair and tucking it behind your ears. Two vanities and sinks with waterfall taps. This place looked more like a five star hotel than apartment. Next stop was the bedrooms. He knows it was a total invasion of privacy but he let you into his roommates room. 

“They’ll never know, plus it wouldn’t be an actual tour if I don’t show you everything.” He smirked.

Last stop of the tour was his own bedroom. He opened the door letting you walk in first. It was nice. Not as big as the other two but still a reasonable size and of course bigger than any bedroom dorm. You glanced around for posters, bookshelves, figurines. Anything that would give away more about him. But Reiner was a simple man. A bed, a desk, and a lamp. That’s all he had. And of course, that made so much sense.

“It’s nice.” You remarked. “Cozy and simple.”

“I was never one for posters and decorations, crowds the room.” He replied somewhat defensively. 

The knot in your stomach returned. But this time it was a combination of nervousness and lust. You were standing in his bedroom. You had been flirting all night. Was the house tour simply a means of wasting time or was this his intention all along? Whatever the case, you knew you wanted him. 

“So Reiner, what was the point of showing me your bedroom if there’s nothing worth presenting here?” You said sitting on his bed, hands and arms propping as your chest flared in front of you. 

“Like I said, it wouldn’t be a real tour if I didn’t show you everything.” He was now sitting closely next to you. 

Your eyes locked once again, reading each other. Not another word was spoken as Reiner inched closer to your face, eyes narrowing. Ready to act on all the tension held between you two. He closed the little space left, smashing his lips against yours. This man was quite the paradox. His kiss was rough but soft. Gentle but demanding. You moaned into the kiss just thinking about that. His hands found their way to your thighs. Rubbing up and down, passing the thin fabric of your dress. You tensed slightly. It had been a while since you’ve felt a touch other than yours. You pulled away, realizing you needed to breathe. Your eyes open once again, you looked at Reiner. Those light honey eyes were now a dark lustful brown. He looked starving, insatiable. You knew he was going to make you feel so good. You got up from your sitting position to kneel on the floor before him. You had to show him what you were made of before he ravaged you. You struggled to unbutton his black jeans. 

“Let me help you.” He said as he first unbuckled his belt. “Eager little thing.” 

You picked up where he left off, cheeks flooding at his comments. With other guys there wasn’t much talk, just action. You weren’t used to dialogue. Reiner’s bottoms now sat below his knees. He was not only big but girthy. You gulped wondering if you could even handle this. He groaned at the sight of you before his member. You met his gaze before taking a bit into your mouth. He stared back at you as long as he could before tilting his head back from the feeling of your tongue smooth over his tip. You continued generating saliva to better coat his whole before letting your mouth fall open to take in more of him. He let out an audible moan at the wetness your mouth was spreading, engulfing him. He raised his hand to your head, bunching of your hair as he bobbed your head down. You relaxed your tongue at this, doing your best to fit more of him. Although this was meant for him, you were enjoying it more than you’d liked to admit. Having Reiner stare at you, his hands tangled in your hair, mouth letting out sounds of pleasure. All because of you. Your eyes begin to water as you were close to your limit. He was just too big. You let out muffled moans and Reiner knew you were reaching your max. He tugged at your head gently, watching his slick exit your mouth. You wiped away the strings of saliva as your rose to your feet. And that’s when he grabbed your hands and pulled you back to his bed. 

“My turn.” His voice was deeper than you’ve ever heard. 

He pulled his pants of the rest of the way but kept his boxers on. You laid with your back to the head of his bed, legs widening with anticipation. Reiner hovered above you, soaking up the sight before making his next move. His lower half dipped between your legs while his lips attached to your neck. He started of gentle, kissing and licking over the skin. Then he progressed, nibbling and sucking. 

“No marking visible areas.” You said in protest. The last thing you wanted was your friends interrogating you. 

“Visible areas you say.” He said removing his face from the nuzzle of your neck and kissing down your body, ready to position his face between your thighs. 

He resumed his biting. It felt rougher on the more delicate skin. You let our shaky breathes to which he huffed at. He rose his hands to mix in with the kisses at your lower body. Soon the kisses stopped and just his hands laid. Inching closer to the puddle in your lace black underwear. 

“Hm, all this just from kisses?” 

You brought your hands to cover the embarrassment on your face. No one ever talked to you like this. You didn’t know how to reply. 

Your hands quickly left your face to grasp the sheets as Reiner slipped a finger past your panties and into your mess. Your mouth widened at this but no sounds escaped. He started with one. Testing the waters as he simply rubbed and slipped in your wetness. His finger found your hole and he quickly added another one. His fingers felt electrifying. Sending shocks and waves and whispers across your body as he pumped in and out of you. Your grip on his sheets tightened as your mind grew hazy. Nothing else existed in that moment but you and Reiner. You were already getting addicted to the feeling of his fingers crowding your privates. Your yelps just encouraged him to keep working his magic and oh my it was literal magic. His unoccupied hand worked its way up your dress, cupping your left breast. How did he knew you weren’t wearing a bra? His fingers made circles around your nubs, feeling them harden. He tugged and twisted them the best he could as majority of his attention was on your lower half. You were close to overdrive at this double stimulation. 

“Reiner please, I don’t..” You stopped mid sentence, embarrassed to voice your desire. 

“You don’t want to what?” He responded continuing his foreplay. He wanted to hear the request coming from your pretty lips. 

“I don’t want to come without feeling you inside me.” You responded quietly as embarrassment but satisfaction ran through your body. 

“As you wish.” 

He removed his fingers from all over you. You groaned at the absence but knew what was coming. Reiner rose to his knees on the bed and began stripping. Your eyes focused on his incredible physique. He was built like a Greek statue, no exaggeration. Veins scattered all of his body. You followed his lead and discarded your dress. Your nipples hardened more as a breeze of cool air washed over them. Reiner stared at you again as you now faced each other. You tensed again, still not used to it. 

“You’re beautiful Y/N.” 

Not knowing how to respond you just moved closer to kiss him. He really was doing his best to communicate and make sure you felt just as good as him. But you never got that from other college boys so your mind just froze at his foreign remarks. Reiner soon gained control of this makeout session and guided you back onto your back. He turned from you for a second fo reach into the drawer on his desk. He ripped the wrapper of a condom between his teeth and rolled it onto his member. You sighed internally at this. You knew it was necessary but god you wanted to feel him, all of him, no interruptions. He positioned himself between you as his strong hands found your hips. He was in with one smooth motion. You let out the loudest whimper as he began setting the pace. He read your mood, starting off slow. Watching your eyes roll and your body loosen up, he picked up the pace. You threw your arms over his shoulders and began digging your nails into his backside. You tried your best to suppress your sounds by biting your lips but fuck, Reiner felt too good. Your core grew tired and your eyelids felt heavy. Your stomach felt funny but just before you could open your mouth to say anything Reiner interrupted. 

“You’re close aren’t you?” 

“Mmhm.” Was all you could mutter. 

His grip on you tightened and his nails slightly digged into the soft flesh of your hips. You lost sight of one of his hands as they made their way to your clit. His thumb and cock worked together to bring your closer to your climax. His meaty finger ran circles around your sensitive area as your stomach continued churning. 

“Oh my fucking god!” Those were the first real words you let out. 

You couldn’t handle it anymore. Reiner continued in and out of you and your vision grew hazy. You came first with him still inside you, legs shaking and breathing shallowed. You finally laid back down as he continued rocking his hips at a slower pace. He pulled out of you before reaching his own breaking point onto your stomach letting out stammered breathes and incoherent curses. 

“Sorry I forgot to grab a towel.” 

“Wow you could’ve at least bought me dinner.” You joked out of breathe. 

He got up and made his way to the bathroom, back in less than thirty seconds with a towel in hand. You were expecting him to hand it to you but to your surprise he cleaned you off himself. You got up and thanked him. Wasting no time, you collected your belongings and headed to the bathroom with wobbling feet. You peed and finished cleaning yourself off the rest of the way. You put back on your soaked panties and sweaty purple dress. Splashed your face with cold water and looked at yourself in the mirror. You smiled. That was the best sex you ever had. A knock at the door cut your blushing short. 

“Someone keeps calling you, an Ymir?” 

“Oh my friends. They must be worried I was supposed to meet them an hour ago.” You had honestly forget about them as soon as you laid eyes on Reiner outside his apartment complex. 

“I can take you if you’d like, it’s pretty late.” 

“Thanks but I’ll be fine, it’s downtown Ubers run 24/7.” 

He looked down at your rejection. Was that cold of you? No it wasn’t. You had sex and that’s it. You didn’t want to give him any ideas or false hopes about anything, even if it was just a ride. 

“Um thanks for the ‘house tour’.” You said with fingers curled at the last two words. 

He chuckled quietly. “Yeah, enjoy the rest of your night Y/N.” 

You walked out the bathroom and headed towards the door. “Thanks Reiner, you too.” 

He accompanied you on your journey to the exit As your hand grazed the doorknob he added one more thing. “I trust fate will let us cross paths again.” 

“I don’t believe in fate.” You smirked as you looked at the disheveled blonde one more time before closing the door behind you. 

That was the last time you saw Reiner. At least it should’ve been. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and overall are liking the story. I’m really just going with the flow as this was based off a dream but most updates will be at night. As always feel free to leave advice, critiques, and praise. I crave interactions!


	3. The Past Calls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! School and whatnot. I realize this was kind of a filler chapter but important information is mentioned. As always I hope you’re enjoying the story :)

Your phone powered off just as you received the notification that your Uber was outside. You sighed as you slipped it back into your jacket pocket. Armin was definitely going to lose his shit over your not picking up. You mentally prepared yourself for a lecture as you walked to open the back left door of the Uber. All you wanted to do was sleep. Reiner really wore you out, in the best way possible. Lost in your recounting of the time spent with him, you didn’t notice the car had stopped right in front of your college’s dorms. Thanking the driver, you got out of the car and adjusted yourself the best, you could dusting off any sign of the fun you had. 

You listened in on the ruckus before knocking the door. “What do you mean it goes straight to voicemail? Try her again!” 

“Armin her phone must be dead or she’s just ignoring us.” 

The blue eyed boy raised his worried tone slightly. “Why would she ignore us Ymir, she was supposed to be here an hour ago. Something definitely happened.” 

Just as you were about to knock the door it whipped open. Your eyes met with Ymir’s low lidded brown ones. 

“God Y/N. Everyone she’s here.” 

They all turned to face you at the doorway apart from Eren who was laid across his twin sized bed. You watched as all their chests exhaled sighs of relief. 

“I’m so sorry guys, my phone died and I totally got preoccupied.” 

“Preoccupied with what?” Mikasa asked. 

Making your way to an outlet to recharge your phone, you came up with a lie on the spot. “The girl..I had to help her into her building and all that stuff. You know how it is.” 

Annie and Ymir were too high to see through your obvious lie and Armin was just relived you were back in one piece. Mikasa watched your body language but kept silent. You darted your eyes away from her. God why did she have to be so perceptive; nothing ever got past her. The five of you now spread across a cramped dorm room meant for two. You laid on Armin’s bed with your head in Ymir’s lap and legs on Annie’s. You were ready to let out the biggest sigh and sink in but you heard your phone ring from across the room. 

“Ughhhhhhhhh.” You groaned. 

“I’ll get it for you.” Mikasa said descending from the bed across you to grab your phone. 

“It’s him...” 

The whole room grew quiet to stare at you after Mikasa’s remark. Eren even turned in his sleep, sensing the change of energy in the room. It was just your luck that he would call you right now. The floor creaked as Mikasa walked over to hand your phone to you. You read the name that caused your phone to buzz. Jean. 

“You’re not gonna answer it right?” Annie asked. 

“She better not.” Ymir added as she stroked you hair. 

You turned your ringer off and discarded your phone to the side. “Of course I’m not guys.” 

You weren’t going to. You know it was just his monthly drunken phone call. But it’s been so long since you heard his voice. Even if it was going to be slurred and lower pitched you wanted to hear it; at least know he was okay. Six months. It’s been half a year since you last saw him on the night of your high school graduation. It was the calm before the storm. A night of celebrations and new beginnings marked the end for you two. 

“Well I don’t know about you guys but I’m beat.” You said trying to relax the tension in the air. 

“I’ll go grab the extra blankets and pillows for you guys. Two of you can sleep on the couch and two of you can sleep on the floor.” Armin echoed through the room as he made his way to find the mentioned items. 

“I call the couch!” Ymir and Annie shouted in unison as they flung you off of them. 

Mikasa caught you and helped you stabilize yourself. She looked all over your face, trying to find a hint of discontent. But it was way too late to deal with any of this. You gave her a half smile and slow blink. 

———————————————————————————

You looked up to the ceiling with thoughts clouding your brain before sleep quickly consumed you.


	4. Dirty Laundry

The sun beamed across the well-kept courtyard of your campus. A clock chimed throughout the area, signaling it was now afternoon. Hundreds of students roamed around the campus, some were soaking in the warmth behind a book, others making their way to the dining hall. You and half your entourage decided to go to a restaurant because the food here gets repetitive. You walked with your arms interlocked with Ymir’s as Annie and Armin picked up their pace to the parking lot.

“Oh come on Bert that was foul.”

Your body tensed as you stopped in your tracks. It can’t be him. It’s impossible. He could not have gone to the same university as you this whole time. It’s just somebody who sounds just like him. Yes, that’s all it is. You continued trying to convince yourself that the voice you heard was not Reiner as Ymir tugged at your arm. You picked up your feet again and looked back to the voice. Those same amber eyes from nights ago locked yours in. There was no doubting it was Reiner. ‘Why am I the world’s unluckiest person’, you thought to yourself as you picked up the pace.

“What’s the hurry?” Ymir asked as you were now dragging her.

“I just love wings! We are going to Buffalo Wild Wings right?” You responded in hopes of covering your lie. Good thing Mikasa stayed behind, she would’ve saw right through you.

——————————————————————————--

It was now well into the evening as you guys made your way back to campus. The sun sat low behind the dorm buildings as rays of dark orange peeked behind it. The hangout spot for tonight was yours and Ymir’s dorm. You guys opened the door and greeted Mikasa and Eren who were already there as they chose to study for their chemistry test with your supplies. Ready to sink into your bed and fall into a food coma, you looked around and saw just how messy you’d let the dorm become. The most obvious obstacle being your laundry basket stacked almost as tall as you.

“Guys I’m gonna throw these in the laundry real quick I’ll be right back.” You said grabbing the heavy basket and making your way out the door.

The laundry room was located in the basement. Your footsteps echoed throughout the halls as your sneakers slapped the stairs at a cautious pace. You were careful the whole way until you got off the last step and stumbled into an unknowing stranger.

You stabilized yourself before breaking out into apologies. “I am so sorry! The basket made it hard to see, please forgive me.”

The seeming stranger pulled a purple dress off his face before he replied, “Do you believe in fate now?”

You now recognized the stranger with his face uncovered. There stood Reiner in front of you and of course the dress he had in his hands was the same one he slipped off your body a week ago. Just your luck.

“Reiner...I never knew you went here.”

“To be fair it never did come up in our conversation. Besides, you could’ve asked me this afternoon but you were too busy avoiding me.” He said, dropping the dress back in your basket.

You crossed the threshold from the bottom of the stairs and into the basement, continuing your chore. “I wasn’t avoiding you, I just wasn’t sure if that was actually you.” You paused for a moment before adding, “Plus, if you were so sure it was me, you could’ve said something instead.”

“You practically ran away from me.”

“We had reservations.” You were getting better at lying but come on, that was pathetic. And he knew it too because you heard him scoff.

More students poured into the laundry room interrupting your reunion. You poured the liquid detergent into the washing machine and slammed it shut as it began the washing cycle. You gathered your things and got ready to climb the three flights of stairs once again.

“Goodbye Reiner.” You said turning your back to him.

He followed after you up the stairs. “Oh come on Y/N, can I at least have your Snapchat?”

You thought over the pros and cons. It’s just Snapchat. You gave it to everyone. It wasn’t that big of a deal. But why does he want it? Does he want to talk to you in hopes of forming a friendship?

You sighed and looked back to him. “I guess so.” You replied nonchalantly. You did not want to give him the wrong idea.

He gained up on you as the door to exit the stairs neared. He opened it for you and let you walk through first. You looked at each other for a minute probably wondering the same thing. Just how the chain of events led you right here. You waved goodbye as you guys walked in opposite directions. Only then did you let yourself blush and mouth curl into a smile. It was so hard trying to act cool in front of Reiner. To control your breathing, to stifle your laughs, to act like you didn’t like him. You didn’t like him. You can’t like him. The smile quickly left your face as you came back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for another short chapter I’ll try to make the next few a bit longer. As far as updating, It’ll probably take about a week or so because school is really kicking my ass right now. But as always thank you so much for reading and I hope you’re enjoying the story!


	5. Beginnings and Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a flashback and takes place on the day of readers graduation.

Opportunity filled the air as you looked across the football field that housed hundreds of chairs. The sun radiated the same happiness that was beaming from your being. Everything was perfect. From your iron curled hair that bounced below your collarbone to the wind lightly swaying across your white gown to reveal your yellow bodycon dress underneath. With each inhale of fresh air you let out all the worries you’ve ever had. All the essays, tests, and running after the bus at seven a.m, it all amounted to something. It amounted to this moment, and it was all worth it. With that, you thought of the people that have been with you along the way. Whether it was the whole ride like Jean, Sasha, and Connie. Or recently like Ymir, Annie, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. You were thankful to have met them as you shared this moment. 

You trotted across the turf of makeshift grass, your heels slightly sinking in. _It’s time,_ you thought to yourself as you looked at your friends sitting in alphabetical order. Ackerman and Arlert in the front. Braus closely behind them. Jaegar near the middle. Springer towards the back. Leonhart and Ymir sat in the crowd smiling at you, they had gone through all this last year. You looked all your friends in the face and shot them a big smile, they reciprocated. Finally you turned to Kirstein and offered him your biggest smile with shining eyes. It all started with him. Your mind began playing memories of the two of you throughout the years. Jean was the first friend you’d ever made. Not only in high school but in general. He was your first real friend. The first person to show you genuine kindness. The first person to help you with no strings attached. The first person to listen to your problems. The first person to show you it’s okay to open up. And it didn’t’ stop there. Soon Jean became the first person to dry your cheeks. The first person to hold your hand. The first person to lay a kiss upon your lips. The first person to graze you body. The first person to see you unveiled. The first person to _take you._ He was the first person you loved with your whole heart. It all started with him and now your set to do more ‘ _firsts_ ’ with him at your side. You snapped back to reality with your cheeks still forming a smile and eyes still on Jean. To your dismay, you were met with a smile that reeked of anxiety as he raised his hand to scratch his neck. You concluded that he must’ve been nervous. 

One by one you and your friends ascended the stage and received your diplomas. Each of your names being called was matched with hoots and hollers from Ymir and Annie in the crowd. Finally it was Jeans turn and you watched him the whole way. It seems the worry never left his body because he nearly stumbled twice and never looked you in the eye. This was anomalous of your confident and borderline cocky boyfriend. He would’ve struck a macho pose on stage and shoot you an air kiss accompanied by a wink. Thinking something must have been wrong, his consternation started rubbing off on you. Soon the ceremony was over and you made your way to collect your friends.

“And the kiddos are now adults.” Ymir said as you approached with the crew in toe.

“Welcome to the club.” Annie added.

Hugs were exchanged between everyone and soon parents got in the mix as cameras clicked. You took this opportunity to drag Jean to the side and talk to him.

“Babe, is everything okay?” You said to him with a worried tone.

He darted his eyes in every direction that wasn’t your face. “Yeah I’m just...I was nervous. And like,” he fidgeted with his gown, “It’s just all hitting me now I guess.”

You let out a relieved laugh and locked your arms with his. “Well I’m glad that Mr.Cool can actually feel such an arbitrary emotion like anxiety.”

He grew slightly stiff at your touch but you rubbed over his arm with your hand hoping to ease his worry. You guys walked back to the group where a few more photos were snapped and words of freedom were spoken.

“Goodbye hellhole!” Eren yelled.

“I’m actuallly going to miss this place.” Armin remarked.

Connie snorted and added, “You’re alone on that.”

“To four more years.” Mikasa let out as she raised her cap.

“Ugh don’t remind me, summers just started.” Sasha sighed.

It was your turn. You turned to Jean and squeezed his hands while presenting a smile. “To new beginnings!”

Everyone let out one last cheer as caps were thrown in the air. You looked all around you, taking the sight of your high school in for the last time. As you scanned the building, images of your and your friends appeared. When you guys would skip class and chat in the bleachers. When everyone came together to paint Armin’s senior parking lot. So many memories made here. So many friends. You’d never imagine that this many people would ever care for you.

You gazed to them one more time and let out a teary, “I love you guys.” They all swarmed to hug you.

“No more crying, party at my house!.” Sasha interrupted. “My mom made potato salad.”

Adjusting themselves, everyone boarded their cars to go home and get dressed. You looked around for Jean who was long gone.

———————————————————————————

You released a strand of your hair from the curler as you watched yourself in the mirror. Today was supposed to be a celebration. A day of happinesses. But you couldn’t get Jean off your mind. Why was he so different? It seemed way more than just nervousness. You touched up the highlight on your cheeks and put on a new coat of lipstick. Since the party was family friendly you opted for a simple long sleeve black turtle neck, burnt orange skirt, and black pantyhose. You smoothed your outfit over one last time before going downstairs to meet your mom.

“My girl's really all grown up huh? I can’t believe you’re leaving me soon.”

You walked down the last step and into the living room to wrap your mom in a hug. “I’m not leaving you mom. I’ll only ever be less than two hours away. I’ll call you everyday. Visit for every holiday no matter how little.” You reassured her as she tightened her grip on you.

It was just you and her for as long as you can remember. You never met your dad and you didn’t have any siblings. Your mom was an only child just like you so there were no aunts, uncles, our cousins in the picture. Your grandparents passed shortly after you were born. Kids always ridiculed you because of this so you never had many friends. For eighteen years it’s just been you and her. Although most of her time was spent at work, your mom gave you the best childhood she could. Anything you ever wanted she got for you.

“Mom I just touched my makeup up please no more tears tonight.”

“Ugh fine beautiful girl. Go wait in the car i’ll be out in a second.”

You threw on your shoes and headed for the car. Remembering you never saw Jean off at the graduation you decided to give him a call. After a couple rings he finally answered.

“Hey me and my mom are headed to Sasha’s for the party, want us to come scoop you?”

“Uh no thanks. I’ll just ride with Connie.”

You raised your eyebrow in suspicion. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was ignoring you. “Alright I’ll just see you there then. I love you.”

“Love you too.” And with that he abruptly ended the call.

Soon your mom walked out the house with her keys and purse in hand. Off you were to the party.

You were the last to arrive in true Y/N style. To you right was a homemade photo booth with props and a backdrop. To your left was the couch and there sat your friends.

“Ah there’s Ms. AlwaysTardy.” Eren said with a cup in his hand.

“Surprised she actually graduated high school.” Connie added ever so sharply.

You nudged his arm and took a seat next to them. Mikasa noticed your scurrying eyes and spoke up.

“Jean’s in the kitchen if you’re looking for him.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna show him I’m here.”

You got up just as quick as you sat down. You smoothed over the creases in you skirt and made your way to the kitchen. And there Jean was facing the opposite of the dessert table. You snuck up behind him and placed your hands to cover his eyes.

“Boo!”

“Oh god you scared me.” He chuckled lightly.

“What’s up? Why are you in here alone?” 

“Y/N I have to tell you something.” His face grew serious and his voice deeper.

Confused you looked around and replied, “Okay tell me.”

“Not here.” He said as he grabbed your arm and guided you to the backyard.

His palms were sweaty which caused unease to settle in your stomach. You were glad he was finally telling you what was wrong but you were scared of what he was going to say. Before you knew it a cool drift passed by you and you guys were in the backyard, not another soul in sight. Jean stood quiet for a moment and you decided to break the ice.

“Okay something is obviously wrong with you Jean. Please just tell me.”

“I cheated on you Y/N.” He confessed as the rustle of the wind blowing the trees stopped.

Your heart fell from its place in your chest to the floor below you. All emotions exiting your body as shock and numbness took over. You couldn’t fathom what your boyfriend of four years had just said. He didn’t utter another word as you processed his admission.

Tears began streaming down your cheeks, wetting the fabric of your collar as you finally asked, “When?”

“During the senior trip to the resort two months ago. It was some random girl...”

You cut him off mid sentence as your chest heated with fury. “The trip I didn’t fucking go on? Really Jean? All it took was for me to not be there?” 

“Please Y/N it wasn’t like that...I-I don’t know why I did it. And I’ve been consumed with guilt ever since. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Oh please!” You shouted. “Did I mean nothing to you? Did this mean nothing to you? Four years and you ruin it all for one night.”

Your lips quivered as waterfalls continued pouring from your eyes. Your words were intelligible as you asked, “Why tell me now?”

“I had to get it off my chest. I was always going to tell you but all this talk about fresh starts and new chapters fueled the guilt I had and I just had to tell you tonight. Please Y/N, I still want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He attempted to hold your hands in his but you quickly swatted them away.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Your voice grew louder after each of his remarks. “I want nothing to do with you Jean.”

You headed for the door as he dropped to his knees and grabbed your ankles.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Please it was just a mistake. Please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you more than you’ll ever know.” He wept below you looking defeated.

Your grip on the doorknob loosened at his words. He was the love of your life. He loved you so good that you didn’t even think anyone else was capable of equaling that. He was the person you put your complete trust into. He was perfect. Could you just let this go and move on?

You remembered your words spoken from earlier, _to new beginnings_. It’s time to leave Jean in the past.

You built up the confidence and composure to look him in the eyes and say, “Goodbye Jean.”

You wiped the moisture from your eyes with your sleeve and quickly retreated to Sasha’s bedroom before anyone could see you. And once you were alone you released the waterworks. Betrayal, mistrust, broken promises, you wept at all the things Jean did. You decided in that moment to never trust like you once did, to never love.

Sasha casually stormed into her room only to find you sobbing incoherently on her bed.

“He told you...”

You looked up to stare dead into her eyes. “You knew?”

“Connie and I saw him leaving the hotel room of some random girl...please Y/N we were going to tell you but Jean-“

“You guys knew this whole fucking time? You let me make a fool of myself for the past two months?”

“Please Y/N! We were going to tell you immediately but he begged us to let him tell you first. We didn’t think it was our place and we let him-“

“I’m fucking out of here.”

You jumped from Sasha’s bed and bumped into her shoulder as you marched out of her room. You darted past the living room and to the front door with such speed that it caused all your friends to turn their necks. They all looked to you then behind you to see a defeated Jean and penitent Sasha. All but Connie ran after you. He was the only one that knew what happened.

Sitting on the hood of Armin’s car with your legs to your chest, you told them all what happened. Mikasa and Armin had to hold Eren back while Annie and Ymir comforted you. That was the last time any of you spoke to Jean, Sasha, or Connie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to hold off on publishing this chapter and release the next two together but I just couldn’t wait. I think this is my fav chapter so far! Also thanks so much for 300+ hits! Expect the next chapter by Saturday.


	6. New Year’s

The scenario played in your head one last time as you added the finishing touches to your makeup. Ever since Jean’s phone call you couldn’t stop thinking about him. It wasn’t only that memory too. Happy ones played in your mind as well. You didn’t know which one hurt more to relive; his confession or his adoration. Before a tear could even form your phone vibrated on the vanity in front of you. You let out a sigh of relief because you did not want to fix your eyeliner for the umpteenth time tonight. You read the name on your locked screen, Reiner. Raising your phone to your face to unlock it, you read his message.

_Happy new year Y/N :)_

You let out a huff followed by a little smile. Did people usually wish their one night stands a happy new year? Well you were kind of expecting it after he texted you Merry Christmas. Still it was definitely out of the ordinary but nonetheless you blamed it on the holiday spirit and texted back. 

_You as well Reiner._

Just as you placed your phone back down Ymir busted into the bathroom shouting,

”Redemption time!”

”It’s not really redemption if the rest of the crew isn’t here,” you added turning away from the mirror to face your friends, “that night was a bust for all of us.”

_Well most of us, you thought to yourself._

You looked to Ymir who only had Annie with her. Mikasa, Eren, and Armin decided to ring the new year in with their families. You would’ve too if it were any other time but you couldn’t spend another second alone with your thoughts. You needed alcohol and possibly a fellow who you could use then forget. So you decided to take Annie on her offer. She had the address to a college party that was off campus and apparently the host was pretty popular. You didn’t care who or where it was you wanted free booze. You were dressed pretty comfortably. Since it was a house party and not a club you opted for black jeans, a sparkly top, and your black leather jacket. 

“Hurry up Y/N we’ve been waiting for you all night.”

”Well Annie you should’ve known you would be a little late since you invited the queen of tardiness,” you said as you slipped your shoes on.

Ymir was the driver for the night. She never really drank alcohol and promised to do nothing more than a few hits of her pen. You trusted her, she was a woman of her word. You were just glad to finally get the chance to black the fuck out. 

“Where is the address Annie?” Ymir asked as she adjusted her mirror. 

“Uh Spade Suites it’s about fifteen minutes from here.”

Your breathing stopped for a moment at Annie’s words. Just. Your. Luck. You finally exhaled and began rationalizing. Spade suites is huge. What are the odds you’ll run into Reiner? What are the odds the party would even be at his apartment? He never mentioned anything of the sort to you. Everything was going to be okay. You stayed quite the rest of the way and watched how the city lights reflected across downtown. Soon enough the car pulled up to the glorious gold apartments.

“Ah shit there’s a keypad, we need a code to get in,” you pretended to be dumbfounded. 

Ymir glanced around and saw a group of people heading towards the back of the building.

”Or not,” she said pointing to the crowd, “there must be an emergency exit or something back there.”

Annie scoffed before adding, “The things kids do for free booze.”

You were a little dispirited at Ymir’s discovery. Just being there made you nervous. You guys followed the group of kids up a flight of stairs and to the sixth floor. _Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ was all that was going through your head. And like the icing on a worm infested mud cake, they stopped in front of apartment number 297. In that moment you believed you were the worlds unluckiest person. You felt slightly dizzy as Annie turned the doorknob. Immediately you scanned the familiar living room for any sign of Reiner but you could not see him. You turned to your friends to mutter something and retreated to the bathroom, having remembered the route. Alone, you controlled your heaving. Why were you so scared of running into Reiner? Now that you thought about it, it made no sense. You don’t owe him anything just as he doesn’t owe you. But it’s the fact that you were back here that made it all feel wrong. In his home. You couldn’t help but feel a little liable as you stood in his bathroom for the second time in your life. _I need a fucking drink._ You crossed the threshold from the bathroom and back into the living room. The little accents and expensive decorations you saw last time were missing. You turned into the kitchen to grab a red solo cup with god knows what inside it and began downing it. Drinking away your worries and sorrow. The burn of the alcohol against your throat was just as refreshing as it was agonizing. You looked across the room to your friends who seemed to be enjoying themselves. At least they were happy. Finishing the drink in your hand, you grabbed another one off the table and headed for the empty balcony. There, you watched the twinkling stars as the cold winter air blanketed you. You lost track of time as you listened to the hustle and bustle of downtown on New Year’s Eve. Interrupting your alone time, a mysterious voice called from behind you.

”It’s almost midnight you know? You won’t get a kiss out here alone.” 

You turned to face the unfamiliar voice. The man in front of you was someone you’ve never seen before. He was of average height, just a bit taller than you, but he carried himself as if he were taller. His eyes were light but appeared dimmer under the darkness of night. He had an undercut with blonde hair that was slicked back. He wasn’t really your type but you didn’t care tonight. You decided to engage the stranger. The drinks you had added to your already flirtatious nature. 

“Not if you stay here with me.” 

He looked all around him before joining you on the balcony. 

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?”

You scooted to make some space for him on the banister before replying, “Enjoying the view”, this time you were looking straight at him. 

He nodded his head, a little surprised at your reply. He wasn’t expecting you to match his energy but he liked it. You continued eyeing him up and down, he could be the fellow you needed for the night. You pulled your phone from your pocket to look at the time. 

“11:59,” you said aloud as counting could be heard from behind you. 

Together with the stranger you guys counted down the last ten seconds, never peeling your eyes from each other. 

In unison you chanted, “Three, two, one”, before pulling his face down to meet yours.

Literal fireworks lit up the sky as you embraced the man you just met. Feeling the heat of his body near yours, you had no need to worry about anything else. The simple kiss turned into a heated make out session as his lips continued against yours despite the sound of cheering fading out. You pulled away first, needing to catch your breath. 

“Wow,” was all he could said as you guys stopped to take in air. 

You smirked at him as you fixed your rustled hair and asked, “Where can we finish this?”

He took your hand and guided you back to the living room. The apartment was even more crowded than before. This time you didn’t scan for your friends. You didn’t look around for Reiner. The only thing on your mind was having a good time with someone who’s name you didn’t even know. And it couldn’t be more perfect. After this you would never see him again. _Just for tonight,_ you encouraged yourself. Before you knew it you were in the hall where the bedrooms lay. He opened the door to one of the huge rooms and you were kind of relived it wasn’t Reiner’s. 

“Are you sure we’re allowed to be in some random persons room?” You asked as he lead you to the king sized bed. 

“I’m sure the owner wouldn’t mind,” he replied mischievously. 

Now both on the bed, you continued with your meeting from earlier. You gained the upper hand as you got up to lay on his lap, your thighs on either side of him. You grinded into the kiss deeper as you felt him grow harder against you. He switched the focus to your neck and you didn’t care that it was more painful than enjoyable. You guided him back to your mouth as you slipped your tongue to interlock his. He grew stiffer underneath you and you were proud of yourself. Just as things were getting good there was a knock at the door. But the intruder did not wait for a reply and instead invited himself in. 

“Porco you told me the party would be over by midnight come on dude.”

Your attention turned to the door as a familiar silhouette appeared. 

It was Reiner. 

You jumped from the mans lap who you now acknowledged as one of Reiner’s roommates. Of course this would happen to you. Guilt-ridden, you looked over to meet Reiner’s eyes as shock painted his face. 

“Y/N...”

You walked up to him immediately, abandoning the stranger you just met, and pleaded your case, “Look Reiner I had no idea-“

He cut you off abruptly to say, “It’s fine really you don’t have to explain yourself,” and with that he was out of Porco’s room and headed somewhere else. 

You followed him as omission cascaded over you. He looked so hurt, betrayed. It reminded you of your own face on your graduation night. You continued calling his name but it fell to deaf ears as he stormed out of the apartment and headed outside. You unknowingly followed him down six flights of stairs, trying to get his attention. Finally outside you shouted one final time, 

“Reiner!”

”What?” He replied throwing his hands in the air. “What do you want from me Y/N?”

Now that you had his attention it was hard to speak. “I-I I didn’t know he was your roommate. I wouldn’t have done anything with him if I knew I swear. I’m sorry”

He sneered at your statement before replying, “You don’t have to apologize. You’re an adult, you can screw whoever you want.”

You winced internally. It kind of hurt hearing him say that.

He looked to the road in front of him before adding, “Besides you don’t owe me anything. Just as I owe you nothing.”

This was the exact same thing you relayed to yourself earlier. So why did it hurt coming from his mouth?

Your voice was now lower and small as you replied, “You’re right. We don’t owe each other anything. I mean we’re not even friends right?”

He looked at you with wounded eyes and scoffed. “I guess we aren’t.”

And that’s when you realized you had hurt him. You couldn’t say anything else as you watched him heading back to the building, his back turned to you. You were friends, at least it was getting to that stage. He was trying time and time to get closer to you. Sending you messages here and there. Waving to you whenever he saw you on campus. But you refused to let him in, remembering the promise you made to yourself. Still, how cold could you be? To fuck him, dump him, then move on to his roommate? You finally understood how Reiner must’ve felt. _God I’m such a bitch._ You pushed your hair away from your forehead to let out a huge sigh. Deciding not to ruin Ymir and Annie’s night, you got an Uber and headed back home. 


	7. Kickback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the love! It really means a lot and I’m so glad people are actually anticipating my story. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Reiner ditched the elevators and stormed the steps back to his apartment. He paused for a moment at the halfway point to think, ignoring the passing people. He hadn’t noticed how heated he was until he unclenched his fist and let his eyebrows relax. Why was he mad? Was it simply because it happened to be his roommate? Or was it because it wasn’t him? Whatever the case he couldn’t help but not feel hurt. He knew it was irrational. You guys weren’t dating. Hell, according to you, you guys weren’t even friends. Letting go of his hostility, he made his way up the rest of the stairs and back to his shared apartment. At the door, he was surprised to no longer hear the sound of music as it remained half cracked. Reiner opened the door the rest of the way and was met by Porco and a girl he’s never seen before. Not sure of what to say he opted for a helpful gesture. 

“Do you need help cleaning up?”

Porco looked to the ground before replying, “Ah nah man it’s cool. It was my party,” he then turned to the blonde woman next to him and added “Oh this is Annie she’s lending me a hand.”

Reiner looked to the girl who shot him an awkward smile, vaguely remembering where he had seen her. It was at the bar the night he met Y/N. She was definitely Y/N’s friend. 

And just like that another one of your friends appeared from the balcony. A tall, slender woman, with short brown hair and face painted with freckles. Reiner listened closely to what she had to say. 

“I talked to Y/N. She said she was feeling sick so she got an Uber back home.”

”Oh that’s great Ymir. We can head back too after we finish up here.”

Ymir. That name rung a bell in Reiner’s head. That’s who was blowing up your phone on the night you two shared. He found comfort in knowing you had such good friends. A knock at the door cut his pondering short. 

“I’ll get it.” He said to the group.

He opened the door and was greeted by his other roommate.

”You know keys have a purpose, Bertholdt.” Porco said with a trash bag in hand as he continued picking up confetti. 

The green eyed boy looked all around the room before his cheeks grew pink at the sight of Annie. Reiner noticed immediately and used this situation to his advantage. 

“Bert can you take over here real quick? I gotta talk to Pock.” 

Not waiting for his answer, the two blondes headed for the balcony where Reiner slid the door close. They both let out huge exhales after taking in the cold but refreshing air. They continued fidgeting until Porco decided it was his responsibility to say something.

“Hey man, I had no idea you two knew each other. I’m really sorry bro.”

Reiner reassured the apologetic man, “We had sex once that’s it really. I guess I was just surprised to see her here. I’m sorry I dashed off like that.” 

Porco deduced that the two were on good terms so he decided to throw a playful jab. “Man, the way you stormed out of there you would think you two were serious or something.”

Reiner let out a sham laugh at his friend’s joke before they got back to the apartment to warm up. 

Annie turned to Porco to thank him for the personal invitation to which he replied, _no biggity._

 _”_ I was thinking of throwing a small kickback at my dorm next week. Nothing too wild. Just my friends, yours, a few tabletop games,”

”And weed!” Ymir added excitedly. 

“That sounds like a dope time. We’re in.” Porco replied looking to Bertholdt’s face that read, _we are?_

He didn’t want to tell his friend but the only reason he invited Annie was because he knew he’s had a crush on her since last year. What better way to start a love story than throwing them together? That was Porco’s logic. 

Reiner’s mind immediately went back to you. He would be seeing you again so soon. Part of him was relieved because regrets about your most recent encounter were already clouding his brain. Walking slowly to his room, Reiner shut the door and fell to his bed. He didn’t fight off the sleep that was already coercing him. Eyelids heavy, he was adrift in less than ten minutes. 

———————————————————————————

It was just you, Ymir and Eren traveling on foot to Annie’s dorm that was on the opposite side of campus. Mikasa wasn’t up for the kickback and Armin was busy with class work, he was majoring in oceanography. Eren decided to make small talk as the silence amongst the three of you was getting awkward. 

“How’ve you guys been?”

You weren’t expecting this question as you dozed off into your own world. Ymir looked back to you from beside Eren and that’s when you knew the question was primarily directed towards you. The usually talkative and witty Y/N has been rather quiet lately. 

“I’ve been okay. Just tired and you know finals are soon.” 

Eren ignored your response, knowing that wasn’t what was on your mind. Instead he asked, “Has that horseface been bothering you?”

You chuckled quietly to yourself. Eren always treated you like a younger sister even though you were both nineteen. It was hysterical but you were thankful. You didn’t have a brother and Eren was definitely like one. Ymir answered the question for you. 

“He called her like a month ago.”

“The fucking nerve of that dick.” Eren said as the look on his face appeared angrier. 

That was actually the last thing on your mind. But you didn’t want to worry your friends with your problems so you remained quiet and answered, “Don’t worry about it guys. He hasn’t called since. I’m fine seriously it’s just school.”

They had no choice but to drop the conversation as you guys neared your destination. Ascending the stairs, the three of you made your way to Annie’s dorm room. It was bigger than the rest of yours since she paid for the upgraded version. Her room was able to fit a standard sofa, a love seat, and a coffee table. She even had a little kitchen all to herself. 

“The other guys still aren’t here?” Ymir asked as she began unzipping her layers to hang on the coat rack. 

Eren and you looked to each other in confusion before he asked, “What guys?”

Annie replied as she set snacks down on the counter, “Oh I invited some guys. You might know them. Porco’s pretty popular around here but I forget his roommates names.”

”Bertholdt,” Ymir added, “I can’t for the life of me remember the blondes name.”

”Oh!” Annie exclaimed remembering something. “Eren apparently you almost got into it with him a while ago? You were drunk so you may not remember.”

Eren lowered himself onto the couch before saying, “Well if I was drunk then I definitely do not remember.”

 _The universe must be playing a cruel joke on me,_ you thought to yourself as you were the only one who knew that guy’s name. Reiner was coming here and of course with his roommate. The one he caught you kissing all over. But you couldn’t leave, everyone would know something was up so you sat there as your friends set up a few card games. Then a knock was heard at the door. 

“Y/N can you get the door?” Annie asked as the rest of them were preoccupied. 

Of course you would be the one to open the door. The universe was out to get you. You turned the doorknob to see three men standing awkwardly in front of you. 

“Hey...” Porco said, remembering he never got your name.

”Y/N,” you said as Reiner gave you a no lip smile and raised his eyebrow. 

The three men discarded their coats before making their way to the couch. 

——————————————————————————

Time went by rather quickly as rounds of uno were played and dab pens continued being passed around. You were wedged between Eren and Ymir as Reiner sat awkwardly in front of you. You two were the only ones who didn’t smoke but you definitely needed something if you were going to enjoy this night. While everybody was making a ruckus over Porco winning uno for the second time in a row you asked Annie, 

“Do you have any drinks in the fridge?”

”Oh no sorry,” she said as she placed a card on the table. 

You turned to Ymir with pleading eyes to ask, “Can we please grab a few? You’re the only legal one here.”

”I love you Y/N but it is way too cold and I am way too lazy.”

You nudged her, defeated. But to your surprise Reiner finally uttered his first words to you all night. 

“I can take you if you’d like. I brought my car and I’m legal as well...” His confidence depleted towards the end of his statement.

He was finally talking to you. His eyes were devoid of any of the emotions from your last encounter. He looked softer, maybe even apologetic. Was this his way of trying to get you alone to talk? If so you didn’t want to turn down this opportunity to make amends. You shot him a smile and nod as you jumped from the couch to grab your coat. 

“We‘ll be back.” None of your friends looked up to see you guys off, too enveloped in the game. 

You and Reiner made your way out the building and into his car where you sat in awkward silence waiting for it warm up. 

“About last time Y/N, I’m sorry I don’t know why I got so angry-“

You cut off his apology abruptly to crash your lips onto his for a moment before pulling away.

“It’s okay,” you said looking up to him with big pupils. 

Reading your change in body language, Reiner placed his lips back to your glossy ones as his arms worked to lift you onto his lap. Once you got as comfortable as you could, he pulled his seat back as far as it would go to create more space. Quickly, you guys begin stripping layers of tops of until you’re in just your bra and Reiner a plain t-shirt. You stiffen just like before as Reiner’s eyes graze all over your body. 

“I never thought I’d see you like this again,” he says as your mind grows cloudy with lust.

He took the words right out of your mouth. You never expected to be in this position again, literally. But this wasn’t the time to ridicule yourself for sleeping with the same person twice. You can deal with all that bullshit later. Instead you winced as Reiner’s cold hands found their way to your bra clasp. It was off within seconds and his mouth replaced the fabric. You let out a soft whimper as his tongue wet your nipples. He was rougher and quicker than before, given the circumstances. You brought his attention away from your breasts and began slipping out of your jeans the best you could, he followed lowering his bottoms down just enough for his hard to stick out. 

“I don’t think I have a cond-”

“Doesn’t matter,” you say before slowly lowering yourself to where his member was positioned between your thighs. 

He let out a huge exhale of air before exclaiming, “Fuck Y/N”

You had been breaking so many of your own rules tonight but you didn’t care. Part of you knew from your first ordeal that you would not get rid of Reiner easily. You had become so addicted to the feeling of his body hot against yours that you didn’t believe you could ever replicate it. _It’s just lust,_ you kept repeating to yourself as you remember just how big he was inside of you. Your bodies work like magic together as you continued up and down his shaft. Your head swings back before you catch it to huff forward on his chest. 

“Are you okay,” he says slightly worried because you were putting in most of the work. 

All you could let out was a, “mmhm,” as your teeth sunk into your lips. This was perfect for you. How you squeezed around his hard and your walls contracted. He fit you just right and maybe in that moment you finally believed in fate. When things got sloppy, Reiner’s big hands were there to help you reposition yourself in his lap. The windows began to fog just as he began twitching inside you. Even though you had the cloak of darkness, anyone could guess just what you two were doing and that had you even more excited. 

“Reiner I-”

“I know,” he said as his fingers found your clit in the dark. He already knew when you were close to your limit.

You twitched uncontrollably as his fingers went to town on your sensitive nub. The heat in your stomach continuing to grow as Reiner spoke to you. 

“Fuck you feel so good.”

Profanity exits from both of your mouths alongside beads of sweat. Your core was growing tired and his hips going numb from supporting your weight for this long. You come first once again with widened eyes and a shivering body. Reiner continues deep inside before pulling out remembering his lack of protection. He comes right onto his own shirt without thinking. You let out a huge laugh to which he replies,

“I guess I’ll have to wear my hoodie,” bunching a couple napkins he got from the glove box to clean himself off the best he could. 

That’s when it hit you just where you were. In a fucking car. You try your best to move your tired body off his lap and into the passenger seat. He hands you back your articles of clothing and you shamefully put them back on. The two of you sit in your seats for a moment, tired out with flushed, sweaty faces. Reiner reaches over to run his fingers through your hair and you involuntarily smile. Maybe this was his way of offering aftercare? It was sweet given the fact that you can’t exactly cuddle in a car. 

“I think we should head back.”

“Yeah,” he lets out zipping his hoodie. 

As you both get ready to brace the cold once again you turn to each other to say in unison,

“We forgot the drinks.”

You both laughed, deciding to forget it. Your friends might be too high to notice anyway. With fingers interlocked, you guys headed back to the dorm.


	8. Reconciliation

You and the squad were once again cooped up in Armin and Eren’s dorm room. There was only so much you could do on a Saturday evening as sleet fell from the clouds. It had been a while since all six of you were together like this and you couldn’t be happier. The stress of finals was finally off everyone’s shoulders and you could enjoy each other’s company uninterrupted. Things have been going surprisingly well for you who was use to adversity. Reiner and you have gotten closer, this time actual friends. Well an acquaintance who’s pants you were pulling down every now and then. But nonetheless you guys were on good terms and you were content with that. As you were laughing at Eren’s outburst over Annie crushing him in whatever game they had in the PlayStation, your phone buzzed in your back pocket. You rise your head from Ymir’s lap to better get a hold of your phone. Appalled, you read the name on the screen. Sasha. You walk into the hall of the dorm building for some privacy as Mikasa’s eyes trail you. Sliding your thumb across your phone and raising it to your ear, you answer. Resonating through your eardrums is the voice of someone you hadn’t spoken to in nine months. 

_Hello?_

You fail to answer her first greeting as you hearken to the girl who you once considered your dearest friend. 

_Y/N, thank you for picking up-_

You cut her off under the pretense that something must of happened to her; why else would she call you?

_Sasha...Are you okay?_

_I’m fine Y/N, I’m not calling about me._

Still worried you continue with your questions.

_Is Connie okay?_

_He’s fine. I’m calling about Jean..._

Her voice trails off the slightest bit knowing she may have opened a wound. 

_What happened to him?_

_Nothing he’s just moving soon and-_

You stop listening to Sasha’s words for a moment. Moving? Jean is moving? You tune back in at just the right moment. 

_Anyway, his flight leaves in an hour or so. I know he has regrets. He knows you hate him. But...he kept telling me and Connie about how he wishes just to see you one last time. I know you definitely do not owe me anything. If anything I owe you. But please Y/N, if you could give him a final goodbye._

_Thanks for telling me Sasha. What airport is he at?_

______________________________________

Sitting in Armin’s car, waiting for it to warm up, you watched the slushy mixture coat the road. It had been about two years since you were at the wheel of a car. Of course, Jean had been the one to teach you how to drive. Naturally, he got his license sophomore year as soon as he turned sixteen. In that time he taught you everything you knew and a year later you two celebrated you receiving your own. Although happy for you, your mother couldn’t afford a car for you at the time so you never really put your skills to use. But here you were in the driver’s seat after deceiving your friends and telling them you had an emergency at home. You glanced to the car clock, it had been about forty five minutes since your conversation with Sasha. What if you were too late? Having no choice, you pulled your phone out and scrolled your contacts until you came across Jean. Pressing the phone icon, you listened to the trilling. Once it halted, you spoke first.

_Please tell me I’m not too late._

Understanding what was going on, he asked no questions.

_My flight got delayed by four hours._

_Where are you now?_

_At the school. Sitting on the bleachers of the football field._

Calculating in your head, you gleaned that it would take about two hours to reach your old high school. That would leave you with about one hour to talk to Jean. Would it be too much? Would it be enough? For whatever reason, you pressed on the gas pedal harder but with caution to the weather. Two hours was a long time to think and you spent most of it questioning what you were doing. Going to see off the guy that took your heart and tore it into a million pieces? No you were seeing the guy that offered you first taste of friendship. Still he was the one responsible for ruining your ability to trust. All in the same he was the first to teach you to trust. You pulled into the parking lot of your old high school thirty minutes ahead of schedule. The weather in your hometown contrasted the downpour of your college town. Locking the car, you walked to the front door. You foolishly pulled at the door as they didn’t budge. Then, you remembered just how you and your friends used to loiter in the bleachers during summer break. You made your way to the back of the school, the fence was still damaged from when Connie took plier scissors and cut a ‘secret entrance.’ It hasn’t even been a year since you last set foot on the football field but given all that’s happened recently, it felt like ten. You quietly trekked across the field as Jean sat ignorantly on the steps. You watched his back for a moment. He already looked so different. His hair was now slightly pass his jaw, but didn’t quite reach his shoulders. Not sure of what to say, you ascended the bleachers and let your presence be known that way. You sat on the same level but a couple feet apart from him. Watching the light recapture his eyes, you examined the rest of his face. He now had a little stubble and his eyes appeared more mature, you let out a small smile.

”Hi,” he was the first one to speak this time. 

“Hi,” you replied with as much confidence possible, “I like the hair.”

He grazed the tips of his locks before saying, “Thanks I’m actually going for a man bun soon.”

Deciding to continue the lighthearted environment you added, “Eren’s actually got one too.”

”Of course he does. I knew he secretly looked up to me.”

The both of you chuckled at Jean’s teasing and talked about just how much has happened. Then, remembering the lack of time ,you cut the reminiscing short and decided to get straight to the point.

”So you’re moving out of the state?”

”Yeah. I was waiting for this semester to finish up before transferring.”

Then it dawned on you. He was transferring to his dream school. The one you kept pressing him to go to but he ultimately decided no to; because he couldn’t be that far away from you. 

“Congratulations,” was all you could say. 

“I always did listen to you in the end.”

Somehow you were no longer feet apart. You could feel his fingertips brushing slightly against yours. You took one of his hands and held them between both of yours. Looking to the ground, you spoke.

“I don’t hate you Jean. No matter how much I try I just can’t. Even though you’ve made me feel the smallest I ever had, you were the same person to ever make me feel important.”

He wrapped his other hand warm around your small ones, “I’m so sorry Y/N. Looking back it was selfish of me to ever ask you to forgive me. To ask you to move on from my wrongdoing. I was so stupid then but I know now that it was so much more than cheating. I broke you and I beat myself up over it every day. I don’t forgive myself so how can I ever expect you to?”

The oh so familiar salty liquid trickled down your face and into the corners of your mouth. Yes what he had done was horrible. But, slowly, you were healing from it. And you wanted the same for Jean. For him to start his new beginnings. 

“I forgive you Jean.”

You didn’t know what else to do but wrap your arms and secure yourself in his warmth. He returned the favor and enveloped you in a hug that you missed so much. Silently, you let go of the claim on each other. 

____________________________________

The sun was now flittering with the horizon as you drove down the familiar road. Exhausted was not enough to describe your lethargic mood. A two hour drive was just not something you were up for right now. Instead you turned into the garage of the home you spent all your years in. Parking rather sloppy, you knocked the door. 

“Y/N, darling. I missed you so much.” Your mother was practically cutting off your airflow as she wrapped you into a tight hug.

Like a true mother her maternal instincts cut in, “Are you okay honey?”

“Yeah mom just missed you too.”

You weren’t completely lying. Although you were just over for winter break you still missed her. You were so used to seeing her every day that her absence hits harder sometime. 

“Are you hungry? I can order a pizza.”

“It’s fine mom,” you were now halfway up the stairs, “I’m beat from the car ride.”

Landing face flat on your bed you sighed before turning on your back to face the ceiling. You battled your brains desire to replay memories of everything that has ever happened in your bedroom. Instead you gave in to the sleep that was calling your name. 


	9. Truths Be Told

Half the trees remained bare as the rest were sprouting green buds. The weather was too warm for a hoodie but too cold for light clothing. March marked the transition period between winter and spring and of course it was your favorite season. Your friends decided to take advantage of this rather warm day by playing volleyball on the makeshift sand platform provided by your college. Reiner and his crew were there too, all of you have been spending a lot of time together as of late. Scoring the last winning point for your team, you turned to jump on Reiner to celebrate. Mikasa was the only one to notice his hands sitting lower for someone who was just a ‘friend’.

“I’m going to use the bathroom real quick.”

“And I’m gonna fill my water bottle up.” Reiner added.

“Mine too,” Eren demanded and soon everyone was handing their bottles to him. 

“Do you need help?” Bertholdt asked looking at his friend who was juggling a handful of water bottles. 

Grabbing the last one from Armin, he replied, “I think I’ve got it thanks Bert.”

You and Reiner walked side by side back to the building that housed the bathroom and water fountains. Once in the security of the hall, you tugged at Reiner’s sweaty collar and placed a kiss on his lips to which he did not protest.

“Good game teammate,” he spoke into the kiss.

“Oh please Mikasa carried our team,” you laughed honestly.

The two of you continued swallowing each other’s faces before footsteps could be heard approaching.

“Well I’m gonna head back but have fun filling all those bottles water boy.”

You turned the corner smiling to yourself before bumping into Mikasa who was staring at you with skeptical eyes. 

“Oh god, you scared me Mikasa.”

“Sorry, I just had to use the bathroom too.”

You smiled at her before continuing your walk back to the rest of your friends. Was she picking up hints about you and Reiner? You guys aren’t dating so there’s nothing to tell really. But still being secretive felt like you were deceiving your friends. It’s not like they tell you every person they sleep with though. _Ugh, maybe I’m overthinking._ You wiped a bead of sweat off your forehead before opening the doors to feel the invigorating breeze. 

“I want another round.” Eren said unable to admit defeat.

“And this time we get Mikasa.” Porco joined. 

“I’m not a toy,” said Mikasa from behind you. 

Reiner was back as well with all the water bottles in hand. Although exhausted, you guys gave into Eren’s rematch and played one final game just as the sunset. 

___________________________________

It was just you and the girls back at Annie’s apartment sized dorm. The boys had left a while ago to the bougie apartment this time inviting Armin and Eren. The rest of you stayed because Ymir said it was time to ‘catch up.’

“Talk to me dolls, it feels like we haven’t vented to each other in forever,” said the short haired girl. 

The rest of you looked to each other before Annie burst out,

“I think Bertholdt likes me...”

The ever so perceptive Mikasa replied, “It’s about time you noticed.”

You and Ymir chuckled, nodding at Mikasa’s statement. 

“I don’t know, he’s a sweet guy but he’s not really my type.”

Ymir hummed roguishly before asking Annie, “Is Reiner more your type?”

You felt the slightest bit jealous at Ymir’s question but cooled down when Annie threw a pillow at her and said,

“Ew I don’t like jocks.”

Mikasa took this chance to ask her burning question, “How about you Y/N, he seems just your type.”

The other girls looked at you in agreement with Mikasa, waiting for a reply.

These were your best friends. They’ve been there for so much. You’ve cried on their shoulders plenty of times. Why was it so hard to tell them you were messing around with Reiner? They were here and telling you everything that’s been up with them. They’ve never judged you. You can trust them. Swallowing your pride, you answered Mikasa’s question.

“Actually, we’ve slept together...” You closed your eyes tightly ready for whatever piece of furniture to be thrown at you. 

“WHAT?” Annie and Ymir yelled in unison.

“Aha! I knew it.” Mikasa jumped up to point her finger in your face. 

You closed your eyes again to finish your message, “More than once.” 

Words of shock filled the room as all their jaws dropped. But you felt liberated. It felt so good to get that off your chest. Now they knew and there’s no reason to be secretive. 

“So do you like him?” Annie asked as everyone calmed back down.

You fiddled with the pillow in your lap, not sure of what to say. You answered truthfully. 

“I don’t know. I like being his friend and I like where we are now.”

“Just don’t get yourself hurt Y/N. Remember your worth.” You nodded with your head down at your friends word of advice. 

_Don’t get yourself hurt._ Those words would stick with you the rest of your ‘girls night’ until finally it was washed away by sleep.


	10. Uh Oh

There stood all of you together for the millionth time. It’s safe to say Reiner, Porco, and Bertholdt were apart of your friend group now. You were all back at the club where you met Reiner on that faithful night. You examined the area and were pleased to see everyone actually unwinding. Well everyone except Reiner. It seemed he was still in his irritable mood from earlier despite him downing what looked to be his fourth drink of the night. Before you guys arrived at the spot, he was already dour. You were going to ask him what was up but didn’t get the chance to in between helping Mikasa get into her dress and helping Annie with her makeup. He was the only one of you absent from the dance floor, instead he stood solo at the bar. Releasing yourself from Ymir’s hands and moving away from Armin, you excused yourself from your dancing partners and headed towards Reiner’s direction. 

“I’m gonna check on Reiner real quick,” you relayed to the group. 

“That’s a good idea, he seems distant today,” Armin replied. 

Your eyes squinted slightly from the colored lights shooting across the club. You tried your best to make it to the other side of the room without bumping into too many people but that failed almost instantly. Finally, you reached the bar in one piece. Sitting in the stool closet to Reiner, you placed one elbow on the table and rested your head in your open palm. Noticing your presence, he placed his almost empty cup down to look to you. The usual glow that glossed his irises whenever they met yours was now missing. Were you annoying him? Obviously he wanted to be alone. But still you wanted to make sure he was alright. 

“Hey,” you smiled at him.

He picked his drink up once more to finish it off before talking back to you, “Hey.”

His voice registered more like a low growl and his breathe was tainted with alcohol. He sounded dispirited which was different from the usual charm of drunk Reiner. Sure he was naturally endearing but when he drank it was magnified. You read his face and posture, it appears he wasn’t drinking for a good time tonight. He was drinking with intent. _What is up with him,_ you thought to yourself, trying to think of a way to ask him without causing him to shut you out. 

“Why aren’t you out there with everyone? Even Eren is dancing,” you pointed to the direction of your friend who once said he ‘doesn’t dance.’

Gesturing for the bartender, he answered you, “I’m not in the mood.”

“I’ll dance with you,” you told him attempting to grab his hand but he dodged.

“Not tonight Y/N.”

Whatever was bothering him, it must have been serious. 

You fidgeted with your fingertips and looked to your lap, conjuring how to ask him what was wrong. Done with ambiguity, you decided to be blunt and ask him.

“What’s bothering you Reiner?”

He huffed at your question while glaring at you from his peripheral.

“Nothing you need to worry about it.”

Ouch. The coldness of his voice combined with the stare he gave you made it evident that you were in fact annoying him. Whatever he had going on, he didn’t trust you enough to tell you. Or perhaps he simply didn’t have to tell you. You were friends but...but you would do the same. You didn’t tell Reiner when you were upset. After your conversation with Jean it wasn’t his shoulder you were crying on. You had to face it, you guys just weren’t that close. And would you ever be? Not if casual sex was the most you two had going on. You turned from Reiner to announce your departure.

“I’ll leave you alone then.” 

Your chest felt slightly heavy as you walked back to your friend group. They all looked to you as if waiting for an answer and you shook your head no in defeat. 

“Just give him time. He’ll come around,” said Porco. 

You nodded and gave him a pretend smile, trying to conceal your own hurt. That’s when Armin grabbed your hand and prompted you to dance with him. This time your smile was genuine and you danced with the blue eyed boy. He was always good at getting you to cheer up. The rest of the night was much more enjoyable. All of you danced together for a while only taking breaks to gulp down a shot which you and Bert had to opt out of after losing a game of Rock Paper Scissors and being dubbed the designated drivers. But even without booze, you enjoyed yourself and the occupancy of your confidants. Time breezed passed and the number of people in the club increased as it was Friday night. You gathered your girlfriends before turning to the boys and telling them,

“We’re going to the bathroom.”

“Why do you guys always have to go together?” Eren asked as he played with his hair that was in a bun.

“Girls.” Porco said before Bert nudged him. 

“Okay. I’ll wait here for you guys.” Armin said and Bertholdt added quietly, “Me too.”

“Thanks boys.” Ymir said before taking the lead and dragging the three of you into the bathroom. 

When you guys were finally alone she pulled the joint from her bra before saying, “Thanks for the excuse now I don’t have to share this.”

You rolled you eyes as Annie went to her side. 

“God Eren and Porco never pass,” she said. 

Mikasa looked to you before asking, “How’s Reiner?”

You let out a huge sigh before pressing your back against the surprisingly cold wall of the cramped bathroom. 

“Bad. He’s drinking heavily for a reason but he won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I thought you guys were friend?” Ymir let out behind her cloud of smoke.

“We are,” you said convincingly, “but I don’t know. We’ve never confided in each other.”

You arms were now crossed against your chest. 

“Well if you’ve never confided in him maybe he thinks he shouldn’t confide in you.” That was Mikasa’s word of advice.

Maybe she was right. There were times when you were visibly bothered and Reiner would ask you what’s wrong and you ignored him; no matter how many times he persisted. Huh, it was your fault, again. _God, I’m such a bitch,_ you thought to yourself once again. During your silence, the conversation had moved along and the girls were now talking about something else. But all your heads turned to the door when a loud ruckus could be heard and in the mix was Reiner’s voice. 

_Fuck._


	11. Pretend

_**Flashback** _

Reiner’s neck was nuzzled into the crook of yours and his veiny arms wrapped around your waist as you rode him into pure bliss. You came undone with him beneath you for the, well, you had lost count how many times he had left you quivering and shaking. But it was far too many. Your after orgasm clarity began settling as you told yourself this would be **the last time.** The last time you’d sneak into his house whenever his roommates weren’t here. The last time you’d collapsed under his touch. The last time you would let your heart skip a beat whenever you laid eyes on him. 

Reiner lifted you off himself gently and you quickly went to the bathroom to clean yourself up, leaving your clothes behind. He watched as your feminine silhouette quietly tip toed away from him, feeling empty as the weight that was just on him walked away. He popped the condom off his member and tied it before shooting it in the trash bin. Too lazy to get up, he reached for his bottoms from the comfort of his bed. As he put them on he got cozy and pulled the blanket enough to cover his torso and below. Just as he settled, you came back still naked. His gold eyes watched your eyes as you looked to the floor for your belongings. 

“It’s pretty late,” he said in hopes of getting you to stop. 

Ignoring him, you began slipping your lace violet panties back on. “I know but...I should get back.”

As you sat on the edge of his bed, clipping your bra back on, he rustled your hair with his big hand.

“You’re always so eager to go,” he gently moved his hand from your head and to your hand that was no longer busy. 

“Reiner...” you didn’t know what else to say but his name, hoping he’d understand. 

And he did, though an inappreciable amount. All he knew was that you’ve been hurt, bad. He doesn’t know how or by who because you’d never told him, but still, it was evident. The way you practically bolted out the door after sex. The way you avoided any sentimental talk. He knows that the fact you two had even got to this point was a lot for you. But he was selfish. He wanted to be more than friends, and this was the closest to it. Whatever _this_ was. If this meant you still in his life, he’d take it any day. But he was yearning, unsatisfied. He wanted you to let him in so badly. For you to console in him. For you to cry on his shoulder. For you to trust him. But for now, the first step was to get you to stay, just stay a little longer. 

“Y/N,” he spoke to your back, “please just stay this once.”

The feeling of his rough hands sitting gently atop yours was enough to make you give in, no words needed. The wall you put between you and Reiner was diminishing with every embrace, every look, every thought. You knew from the start playing with him would be a dangerous game yet here you were, once again. 

He spoke again with a softness that was so rare. “Even if it’s just pretend. Let’s just pretend for tonight.”

Pretend. What did he mean by that? Pretend to care for each other? Pretend to be in love? No, that’s not it. Let’s pretend we aren’t falling for the other. Pretend that you’re not scared of letting him in. Pretend that if you stay with him just for tonight, you aren’t breaking your promise to yourself. 

Weather it was the fatigue from sex, or perhaps you really wanted to, you gave in. You turned to crawl under the blankets and nuzzled yourself into Reiner’s shirtless body. You hadn’t realized how cold it was until you felt the heat radiating from him. His scent was much more comforting than you imagined. He brushed your hair with his hands once again and placed a kiss to your forehead. 

“Okay Reiner, just this once.”

_________________________________

“That’s definitely Reiner’s voice,” Ymir dragged you back to reality.

You looked to all the girls worried faces before being the first one to dash out the bathroom door. _Shit Reiner, what have you done?_ You stumble to the bar only to see Porco holding back an intoxicated Reiner from some random man that was barking at him. Armin and Eren did their best to hold the stranger back as Bertholdt stood between them as extra precaution. Soon, Porco was dragging him outside and you followed in pursuit. Once met with the flashing city lights and cool a.m air, you lashed out. 

“What the hell happened?”

Porco was out of breathe trying still to hold back the bigger man. “I don’t know. He was arguing with some random dude and I ran over as soon as I heard his voice.”

You looked to the taller man with fury in your eyes. “Reiner, what happened?” 

“Stupid motherfucker spilt his drink and got my jacket wet.”

You turned your eyes in disbelief. He was this angry over his jacket getting a little soiled? No way. He was projecting his anger and this stranger was his target. 

“Reiner...you can’t just go picking fights like this.”

He ignored you as he now sat on the hood of some random car with his arms crossed.

“Could you please take him home Y/N? Here are my keys.”

Porco handed you his keychain riddled with various keys and charms. 

“The rest of us will ride with Bertholdt in Armin’s car eventually. I know they aren’t ready to go home just yet,” he finished. 

Looking to Reiner’s eyes for a reaction, you were disappointed to see they were still avoiding yours. 

“Of course Porco. Go have some fun. And tell me how it goes with that black haired chick,” you smiled to him as he shot you a smile and ‘thank you’ back. 

“Can you walk?”

“Yeah,” he replied coldly. 

The two of you marched to the car in silence. The quietness didn't stop there; the car ride was filled only with the sound of the tires running smooth against the road. Once you reached Spade Suites, Reiner led the way to the familiar apartment. He waited for you to unlock it as you tried almost all of Porco’s many keys. His hands towered over yours as he picked out the correct one.

“It’s this one.”

“Thanks,” you replied quietly. 

He made his way to his room and you were right behind him. He sat at the edge with his head hung low and arms on both his thighs. You sat small beside him.

“Do you want water?”

“No,” was his answer. 

A familiar silence occupied the room once again as you watched the rumpled blonde closely. He looked so tired. Tired of everything. On the verge of giving up. Your stomach stirred as you wondered just what he had been going through. You had to know, had to help him.

“Reiner please. Tell me what’s wrong. I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

He lifted his head and you could see the golden circles glossed over with sadness. 

“I’m on the verge of losing my scholarship.”

A jolt went through your body. College was already difficult and the idea of having to uphold a scholarship and the burden of school work was especially tough. You were thankful that your mother had made a savings for you the moment you were born. 

“I’m not rich like Porco and Bertholdt. All my life it’s just been me and my mom. I never even knew my dad. I worked so hard all my life. To go to college. To get a career. To work a good paying job all to give back to her. But it’s so hard. It’s so much.”

A single tear trickled his cheek and that’s when you felt your own eyes well up with the same liquid. 

“I was always the big brother. The one others told their problems to. The leader. That’s why I can’t ask- why I cant tell-“

His voice got caught in his throat and that’s when you moved closer to him to bring his face down and into a hug. You held the much bigger man as the material of your shirt dampened with his tears.

“Oh Reiner,” you tightened your hold on him, “you can’t bottle everything in like this. You can always tell me. I’m here for you.”

He released from the hug to look into your eyes and that’s when you realized his had soften. They were slowly closing and you did the same, soon feeling his lips on yours. 

“I’m so tired”, he sighed, “Can we pretend again tonight?”

His expression was genuine as he looked you directly in your e/c eyes and smiled softly. 

You didn’t speak a word, instead crawling into Reiner’s bed and cozying under the comforter. He wasn’t too far behind you as he was holding your hand along the way. There, you laid basking in his warmth again and taking in that familiar scent that was now faint with alcohol. The only difference was your hand being the one to caress his gold locks. 

This time you were sure you weren’t pretending. It was for real. You were falling in love with Reiner. 


	12. Breakfast

If it weren’t for the sun peeking brightly through Reiner’s thin curtains, you wouldn’t have woken up anytime soon. Looking to your side, you notice the man absent from his own bed and began to worry. Luckily, your concern is cut short as he walks back into his room with a towel wrapped around his waist and his sculpted upper body dripping. Although this was a sight you had bared many times, you still feel your stomach flutter like a school girl. Of course Reiner Braun was not susceptible to hangovers and was already starting his day at, you reach for your phone, 9 a.m. 

“Sorry if I woke ya,” he says looking for a smaller towel to dry his hair off. 

“Oh no you didn’t,” you let out a small chuckle, “I should probably head out and freshen up too.”

You were still sporting your outfit from last night, a long sleeve olive green shirt and faux leather mini skirt that you paired with fishnets. You run your fingers through your unruly hair and catch a whiff of alcohol and weed, Ymir and Annie’s doing.  
  
“Communal showers are a pain. You can freshen up here if you’d like.” 

Reiner hands you one of his plain black crew necks and sweatpants that looked too small for him but too big for you. You accept them as your face grows hotter, hoping he’d think it was just the sun settling in the room. With that, you make your way towards the luxurious bathroom.

He throws his own change of clothes onto the bed before telling you, “There should be towels on the rack.”

You stop in your tracks to turn around and say, “Thanks Reiner.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles.

And my was that smile killer. You step into the huge shower and battle with the knobs before getting it to work. The feeling of the various shower heads all on different settings washing over your body was amazing. They hit very nook and cranny just right. As you scrubbed yourself of all the club filth you got to thinking about last night, about Reiner, about where you guys stand. He showed himself to you, the real him. He opened up about something so vulnerable and personal which means he trusts you enough. He only deserves the same in return, right? That’s only fair, but. You turn the cascading water off before killing yourself with overthinking this early in the morning. _Not right now. Not when Reiner’s right outside,_ you thought to yourself.

You pull the promised towel off the rack and began drying yourself off. Noticing a laundry chute aesthetically hidden, you discard your old clothes, excluding your bra and underwear. Rummaging through the big bathroom, you find a brush and began maintaining your mess of a hair only after throwing on the all black fit Reiner gave you. His crew neck was so soft and smelt exactly like the detergent he uses. And the sweatpants were definitely not your size, you resorted to rolling them a few times to get them to sit on your hips. You were set to make your way back to Reiner’s room but halted when you smelled pancakes and eggs. _Hmm,_ you thought to yourself. Instead you walked to to kitchen and saw a now dressed Reiner busy at the stove and ingredients littering the island.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?”, you said as you took a seat at one of the stools sat underneath the island. 

Reiner turned around with a bowl of batter in one hand and a spatula in the other. 

“Figured you were tired of dinning hall food,” he smiled at you with those same warm eyes.

You felt your heart tighten at his gesture and told him, “You’re too kind Reiner.”

“Well if you want to make yourself useful you can set up the table,” he joked pointing to the cabinet filled with plates. 

But you happily obliged and stood on your tiptoes to grab a few plates and settled back down to get utensils. You set the table up absentmindedly humming to yourself as you always do. What you didn’t see was Reiner watching your back and smiling at the sight of you. 

“Whatcha you singing?”, he asked flipping the final pancake over. 

You unnerved at his question but ultimately answered, “Oh it’s just a little song my mom used to sing.”

You felt yourself relaxing when he replied, “It’s cute. I like it.”

Grinning, you added, “Yeah she used to sing it around the house when she did chores or whatever. Something to fill the noise since it got pretty quiet with just us two.” 

You looked to Reiner who gave you a warm smile and soft nod. 

Diverting the attention from yourself, you asked him, “You don’t have any siblings either right?”

He scratched his neck before telling you, “No I don’t. Porco and Bertholdt are the closest thing I have to brothers, though, I do have a younger cousin.”

“Aw how cute.”

“She’s more feisty than cute,” he chuckled in response. 

The two of you laughed together with cheeks round and busy hands. Then, your attention drew to the sound of slippers sliding across the floor. Entered a yawning Bertholdt in his matching plaid pajamas.

“Oh hey Y/N.”

You waved at him with a small smile a little sad that your time alone with Reiner was cut short but you enjoyed Bertholdt’s presence, this was his apartment after all. Together, the three of you exchanged small talk and giggles over a surprisingly delicious breakfast made by Reiner. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all the angst from the last few chapters I decided to add a little fluff. Hope you guys enjoy ;).


	13. Past Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for this super late update. Finals are coming up and I’ve been studying like crazy! I hope you can enjoy this chapter and I’ll try to have an update by next week. Thank you and goodbye :)

You watched Reiner as he sat on your bed and scrolled your laptop frantically. Watching his face, you were unsure of what he was going to say next. 

“Well?” You asked anxiously. 

He looked you straight in the eyes, no longer able to contain his smile. 

“I got an 89%”

Squealing, you jumped on him just after he was able to move the laptop off his lap. Reiner had been waiting to receive the score he got on his last final exam. It needed to be above an 80% for him to pass the class. He had been studying nonstop with the help of Armin and it paid off. You laid on top of him longer, giving him the tightest hug. 

“I knew you could do it Reiner.”

Your words made him feel invincible. Honestly, if it weren’t for your constant encouragement he wasn’t too sure he could. But now as you lay on him he knows it was all worth it. You remove yourself from the sanction of his neck and that’s when he pushes your hair behind your ears. Blushing, you break eye contact with him briefly. But he grips your chin and brings it to his own face, kissing you. 

“Thanks to you,” he says tenderly. 

Before you could embrace each other any longer, both your phones buzz. It must be a message from the group chat if both of you were getting it at the same time. And surely it was a text from Bertholdt addressed to all of you. 

_Game night at our apartment. Booze provided._

“Well looks like I’ll be seeing you later,” said Reiner as he slowly released from your grip. 

It already felt ten degrees cooler as he got up from you. Ever since the first time you let Reiner hold you, it felt cold every time he left. You had gotten so use to his warmth. 

“Alrighty then, see ya later.”

_________________________________

The first few times all of you had hung at Reiner’s apartment felt weird, like two sides of you clashing. But now it was nothing but a good time, your two sides have melted into one. Everyone got along surprisingly well though the occasional teasing was unavoidable. They had started early today by making it so that Bertholdt and Annie were sitting next to each other, you had just hoped they would leave you and Reiner alone this time.

“Okay how about Uno next?”, suggested Porco.

Ymir sighed, “I’ve had enough of Uno. Do you have Cards Against Humanity?”

Porco hummed thoughtfully, “I think so.”

“Awesome!”, said Armin. 

“This should be fun.” Mikasa followed. 

After a few rounds occupied by banter and laughter, the group began dwindling in energy. It had to be about one in the morning by now and you guys had started at nine. Eren finished off the last drop of his beer before talking. 

“Well I’m beat. What about you guys?”

Surely all your friends replied, “me too” and even Porco talked about having to meet up with that same black haired girl. You realized what they were trying to do.

“Since you all supposedly have somewhere to be I’ll help Reiner clean up,” you said being the only one to not get up. 

“I can hel-”

Ymir quickly dragged Bertholdt before he could finish his sentence and Mikasa placed her hand over his mouth. 

“Actually Bert we need you to drive us back,” Ymir said tightening her grip on the boy. 

Reiner scoffed into a smile, probably catching on as well.

“Well goodnight guys.”

They all waved and smiled smugly before shutting the door, leaving you and Reiner alone in the big apartment. You scoot a little, not realizing how close you were to him. Being that close to him wouldn’t have bothered you any other time but your friends had left an awkward stench behind. 

“It’s just us now,” he says trying to clear the awkwardness. 

“Like the good old days,” you joke. 

He laughs before getting up to pick up scattered bottles. You follow his lead and sort the playing cards back in their boxes. There’s a comfortable silence and you hum that same tune from before. This time he joins you and it catches you off guard.

“You learned it?”, you asked him surprised.

“Guess I’ve been spending too much time around you,” he jests.

You accept his teasing, “Oh I can just leave then,” you say gesturing towards the door. 

He chuckles a little and you join him. 

Eventually the little cleaning was down and the two of you sit back on the grand couch. You pull the throw blanket over yourself and he inserts himself next to you before grabbing the remote and turning on Netflix.

“What are you suggesting Mr. Braun?”, you say apparently offended.

But he gets flustered immediately, “Oh no! I just wanted to watch a movie.”

“I’m just kidding,” you guffaw. 

You feel him relax back into the couch. He scrolls for a while before putting on a cheesy high school movie. You watch together without talking until a snarky female character appears on screen. 

“That was probably you in high school,” he says pointing to the character on screen. 

You lift your head from his lap to playfully slap his strong bicep. He strokes his arm as if you hurt him while pouting.

“Actually Mr. Braun I’ll let you know I was a thespian,” you say poshly.

“So a theatre kid?”, he corrects you.

You drop your mouth before hitting his arm again.

“I got enough teasing from Sasha and Connie about my extracurricular activities. If it weren’t for Jean I would’ve bit their heads off.”

You lose yourself in the conversation for a moment. You had become so relaxed around Reiner that you didn’t even realize you mentioned people he didn’t even know. You mentioned your ex.

“Sasha? Jean? Connie? That’s my first time hearing those names. Do they go to a different college?”

You shift slightly at his question, “Yeah they do.”

You weren’t lying, just not telling the whole truth. Technically they did go to a different school. But you felt guilty at not telling him the whole story.

“Jean is actually my ex...” you stop yourself, not sure how to continue.

Reiner senses the obvious change in your demeanor. He wasn’t going to force you to go on if you didn’t want to. He’d wait until the time was right. He intrudes so you don’t have to continue. 

“So what did Eren and the others think about you being a theatre kid?”

You fix your position to face Reiner more clearly, “Oh please those weirdos were in even weirder clubs.”

“So what kind of person do you think I was in high school?”, he asks.

  
“Hmm,” you say pretending to think, “A jock.”

He presses his lips together before nodding at your revelation, “Not my fault I’m a natural born athlete.”

The built man flexes his muscles in an exaggerated way and you throw him another playful jab. The rest of the night is spent ignoring the movie playing on the screen. Instead he tells you about Porco and Bertholdt’s high school personas and you tell him all about the adventures you and your gang got into. The both of you hadn’t realized that you had fell asleep on the couch, resting your head on the others. 


End file.
